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Happy ever after dancing in Lala-Land? Nope...

November 30, 2017

 

 

Type the word enlightenment into a search engine and you’ll have all the headlines with misconceptions in front of you.

 

I am not „enlightened“ – only having experienced and actually endured an Awakening and now in the middle of the Kundalini process. I can’t tell you therefore how it feels to be fully enlightened. At my state I am in, I can’t imagine how it is to grasp the truth in full... or better said in it's simplicity because I think simplicity is key... but I am already jumping topics again and I can't put all thoughts into one post : ) Contemplation also needs simplicity.

 

However, maybe enlightenment is truly a state where you know what is key and where you only feel bliss and love and happy and smiling and...

 

I don’t know. And I can’t know.

 

But I for sure know about the process prior to such a state and that this process can’t be avoided by anyone.

 

Enlightenment or an Awakening does not come with a „stroke“ and then you are just fine with the world. It is the hardest work you’ve ever done. No other way needs more determination I guess. But determination feels also wrong for me as I associate it with an egoic heading forward... it is more like your driving force is a long held longing for truth I guess.

 

That is why the questions from people like „How do I get enlightened?“ or „How do I activate my Kundalini?“ bothers me.

 

I wouldn’t be bothered if it were in fact the case that these terms mean you are instantly and totally at ease and happy for the rest of your life. 

 

It bothers me because of the misconception that this is a happening that catapults you out of your dull life within seconds.

 

People not very often associate it with a long, dark, frightening and sometimes very shameful to even painful journey to and alone with yourself. You need to know your shadow sides that well that you can name them when they creep up. They will never stop but you have to be able to name them and that is hard work. I am still fully on and into it. Might never stop but YOU should never stop digging.

 

The other reason why I feel cautious about such „promising“ expressions is because since I started my journey, one I was thrown in without knowing what I am on, I also know how dangerous it can be for people not being thorougly prepared and educated about what might occure.

 

I know for sure that Kundalini is a force you shouldn’t tamper with!  This energy can tear you apart physically or if you are still in a state of mind with lots of fear, it could turn you crazy.

 

Therefore, I would wish for more mindfulness from people throwing around with teachings about such subjects without the necessary warnings going along.

 

I have a lot of online conversations with people living with an active Kundalini at the moment and most of them often feel like they can’t take it anymore. It can be such a bumpy road, both physically and emotionally.

 

If you are one of them, let me tell you: I get you and let me reassure you in this:

 

I know it is challenging. You are in the middle of this awesome but incredibly demanding state, constantly feeling these energies rebuilding your body and mind but you can’t tell anyone because you have to fear that they will label you as a lunatic. And you for sure are smart enough to understand them, how could they get your point? You wouldn’t have been able to grasp it prior to your Awakening either.

 

Therefore, for people finding themselves in the middle of that process and feeling kind of lonely: Find sites or Communities, e.g. on Facebook where you can share openly with people having knowledge about the topic. Write me, if you need advice.

 

And you know what? When I have these days where I feel like: this is just crazy! I can’t take it anymore! What is it now that „she“ wants? Oh... Or you know that one?!: Sitting on your Sofa, feeling like the energy is nearly breaking through a long held blockage when right that very moment one of your children approaches you with a request... and you just sit there, wanting to tell them that right.... now.... is like a very... bad time...

 

And you know you have to forget it : ) Life goes on.

 

It is then when it is time for the giggle. The one that comes in times where you feel that you shouldn't take that process and yourself too serious.

 

And yes, it is hard sometimes but I would never exchange it for the state I was in before. Never ever.

 

Have you ever had chronic pain? Then you know: Real pain and forcing pressure is way better than the unspecific pain accumulated over years.

 

Kundalini can be harsh but I owe her so much. She is the most truthful thing I ever had in my life. She really guides me but you maybe understand what that means:

 

It means that she pinches and tears at my tissues when something is wrong with me either physically or emotionally. And she is very persistent in that. In times where my life is busy this can be very... like VERY annoying.

 

 I don’t always have time to sit down, meditate, stretch or contemplate on my not that rare emotional issues!!

 

But still: The moment she is silent, I need to check in and reassure myself that she is still there and that she still cares... in her very own, demanding way.

 

And you know what? Like everything in life, it will become just normal business. For me, it slowely settles. It needs time as your mind is of course co-experiencing and is blown away at first.

 

But then you somehow come to terms with it, you organize the things – like people who can relate to the experience – you need now in that new actuality of your life and then you just move on. And you soon will be back to the state where you know: „whatever it is, it is just so not about me“.

 

Life. goes. on.

 

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