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Me... the storyteller

Updated: Jun 8, 2023

Hey all! Just spent a month in Costa Rica and enjoying some intense "me" time which was so important. Currently, a lot of pressure is being built up by the energy around my rib cage, especially around the diaphragm and as always more on the right side than the left which makes me feel my imbalances even more. What helps me the most is to lie down and just work with the energy by tapping into the nervous system. It takes me about 2 hours until I am so deep in my nervous system that I can start to distinguish the "chaotic" energy and pressure from just "me", still not surrendering, still holding on to whatever “story” there is that is telling me that I have pain here, tension there, imbalances here and pressure over there.

Wir erzählen uns dauernd Geschichten.
Kampf der Gedanken

And it is after these two hours that I also start to realize by actually experiencing it: Oh God! All these symptoms and it is actually ME who is holding on to it!! Another hour of slowly letting these tensions go while the insights come along with this work: I can go into the nervous system as many times I like and do baby steps in letting these tensions and blockages go... OR it might actually be much easier when I do it the other way around! What if I just imagine myself being all well and balanced? What if I do not HAVE TO feel that way!! This was a “game-changer” for me as I otherwise only reinforce the blockages when I go there and do healing work on them… it also helps but it also let’s the “story of the blockage” kind of stay alive because I still give my focus to it even though with good and healing intensions BUT, as said, with attention and recognition that there is something off. And so this tension lives on because I give it recognition all the time!

So, instead of focusing on the “wound

s”, I then worked with focusing on the “already whole and healed” me. Not by ignoring the wounds!! But by reframing the question from "why does this spot hurt all the time to how would that spot feel (and

have to change accordingly) when the whole system is in balance?" This still leads you to look at the root causes of where this tension stems from... it is still hard work but the turned around approach makes the difference for me. This takes a lot of time to practice and until it starts to really kick in, all other measurements have to be taken in order to alleviate the symptoms of course. The biggest root problem: We are telling stories in stories in stories to ourselves and allow stories to being told to us since our birth and we belief them and holding them in consciousness… While working with this approach, a vision came up and this is the “story” about this vision: We are like little avatars in a screen participating in all kinds of movies and games. We slash an antagonist here, we work out a problem there… it is loud, it is chaotic, it is fun! As with every problem solved and demon fought, the game seems to be getting easier. Some extra points and weapons earned here, another riddle worked out there. But what if we do not have to do all these little fights and riddles at all?!? What happens, when I suddenly come to making this “gamechanging” realization that actually, I never looked over my shoulder… oh! What if I turn my head and look OUT of the screen….?! I would see that there is a figure sitting there on a sofa watching me fighting these fights… I can not see her well enough so I – the avatar – will boldly push the OFF button without another second thought or “story”. The screen turns dark, the avatar character gone, no sound at all… but now, the figure on the sofa is getting conscious of itself sitting there as all the distractions in the screen are gone. OH! It realizes with quite an astonishment. I AM. It is nice. It is quiet. Where was I all the time?! It was so loud, it was so interesting to watch that movie, it was so distracting… and now… I am. At first, it feels odd but then this I realizes that from there, it can take journeys and adventures as well! But now it is ITSELF experiencing them instead of just watching. When I do this healing, I will be better... when I understood this way of meditating, then I will expand my consciousness... well! Still narrating... That avatar right there is in full action... Stopping the narrating… stopping the nagging thoughts which build up that avatar and then see what is left. Be surprised. Love to you all!

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